Did you know? Metrose*uality is out!

The other day I picked up Hindustan Times for a change. The paper looked really bulky compared to other papers – with some 70 odd pages. It sounded like a real cool deal for two bucks. I picked it up without winking or thinking twice.

“Metrosexualilty is out” screamed the paper. I thought “what’s this new thing and when was it ‘in’ in the first place? What was I doing then? Was I alive?”

Apparently, it’s the name associated with a specific ‘category’ of men - of the likes of Jude Law, Beckam and Hugh Grant who concentrate more on the ‘soft side’ and on the ‘looks’. Damn, I was thinking they were ‘normal’ men. What’s metrosexual about them? The paper had answers. It’s easy to find such men, it claimed. Any guy who spends as much time as women to get ready is a metrosexual. Hey! This is straight from the paper. Don’t rip me apart. So what else? This category of men indulges in purchases of products like hair smootheners, hair strengtheners and a lot of creams that I didn’t know exist. They don’t stop there. These men don’t come out with just a shave and a cut from the barber shop. They ask for bleaching and face massaging and God-knows-what. That’s depressing. All along, I was thinking that bleaching can only be done on clothes! Shucks! It is news to me that the cosmetics industry has evolved so much. Guess I missed out all the action. I'd love to read more such articles. It’s much more fun than all the joke books put together.

Now, why is this seemingly ‘cool’ thing (cool only for cosmetic companies, mind you!) out? The newspaper apparently surveyed a lot of girls with whom these guys are moving together and found startling new details. They’ve found out that these girls are scared to hell that such guys spend more time getting ready and are more inquisitive about new beauty products than themselves. One woman apparently fears that her ‘boy’friend (that metrosexual one) will become prettier than her. I thought “And all because of those cosmetics? You mean those cosmetics advertisements do work? Long live dumb people!” One article I read sometime back said that it would take about 10,000 years for the skin color to change from one to another – like when blacks move to cooler western countries or when whites move to hotter places. I’m not sure about the authenticity of this report, but I’m sure that “Fair and Lovely” and other cosmetics can’t work miracles. The only thing “Fair and lovely” does, as our Marketing professor said, is it gives ‘hope’. Whatever that means!

So, this metrosexual-wala article concludes, women have fallen back to ‘typical’ men… the ones who get ready fast and don’t fuss about beauty products. The good ol’ regular men are again in vogue. Great to know. Thank you. That was one hell of information.

And yes, this is from the same paper that screams “let there be light”. Only the light seems to be really blinding.

P.S: Tomorrow is the last day of my summer project and I got a marathon presentation to work on. Then it would be home after eight long months. So don’t be surprised if there are no updates for long. I might be basking in the glory of a new house that we’ve built. :)